Need I say more in my title for this post! I'm breastfeeding as some of you may or may not know. I'm not trying to say that its not working because it is. What I should say is that its not quite working the way I would have hoped. Don't get me wrong, I was blessed with a baby who had no problem learning to latch right on in the hospital. So that was wonderful, its the after part. Now that we've been home for almost two weeks things aren't going quite as planned. My little angel is still eating but he's not eating the recommended amount the pediatrician told us he should be eating. Our Pedi told us to feed him every 2 to 2-1/2 hours never letting him go past 3 hours without eating. Then he said to feed him at least 15 minutes per each breast every feeding, HA YAH RIGHT! Not this kid, he just won't have it. First of all we have 2-3 scenarios that are happening here.
1. Cooper wakes up from his never ending nap and is starving, basically eating through my shirt. I start to feed him and he eats vigorously on one side for 15 minutes. Then when its time to go to the other side for fifteen minutes he becomes comatose and you can't seem to wake him no matter what you do. He will eat so slowly that it takes you nearly 1 hour or more to feed him and he then manages to spit up half of it.
2. Cooper wakes up from his never ending nap and is starving and I start to feed him and he decides after one breast that he is full. No more. He refuses any other breast milk formula or anything. Leaving me distraught and upset because I think he's getting malnourished.
3. This one goes along with number two, When he's done with his one sided feeding he then decides precisely 1 hour later that he wants the other side. This so isn't going to work!!!! I cannot feed you every hour my little angel pie, Mommy isn't a drive through sonic for you to just pull up and order during happy hour. We most definitely cannot be starting that.
So here I am left upset every day it seems because my son either won't wake up for the life of him to eat, or will only eat a small amount or decides he wants to eat way to often and at his own pace. I have definitely cried over this numerous times. All of which were after he was asleep and I knew it was safe for me to break down. I've also talked with a number of my girlfriends who told me there feeding experiences with there newborns. I just am worried that my son isn't getting enough to eat. Not to mention the fact that in just 4 short weeks I go back to work and he is also now decided that in the wee early hours of the morning he will eat a small amount then play while eating for about 15 more minutes and then he decides that he wants to stay awake for an hour and a half and have social time in the middle of the night. Even when I tried religiously to keep the room quiet and tranquil while feeding in the night.
I absolutely love my little sweet angel boy, but I have got to figure out a good eating schedule for him. Its wearing me down mentally and physically and I'm just so unsure of what to do. I've seriously even considered pumping every feeding and putting it in a bottle that has quick flow so he eats faster and we know how much he's taking down each feeding. Either that or just doing formula GASP!!!! Yes I said it, But I want whats best for him, but I also need to not be upset and near tears every night as well. We have got to figure out whats going to work for us and FAST! Luckily we go to the doctor this Wednesday so I of course will mention this to him but what if he doesn't help the way I need him to.
Also to top it all off, My little guy in the first week home was sleeping a good 4 straight hours at night, It was fabulous, but then the doc told us we had to start waking him for feeding ever couple hours and since we started that, he now won't sleep more than three hours at night. Which I know is good but why the heck would we ruin his great sleeping schedule at night when he was so content and happy sleeping 4 straight hours. Yes I know, the whole he needs to eat and he's a newborn and doesn't know when to wake himself up, but now that he's not eating anyways and he's playing instead of eating its come to my attention that stopping his great sleeping schedule we were all so content with was a huge mistake.
On a brighter note, Our little Cooper is doing great. Although I dread sundown, during the day he's perfect. He still has eating issues but he's doing great aside from that. He's working on his head control, he's waking and trying to stay awake longer periods throughout the day. He's such a joy to have. I just love him to pieces.
ALSO:
My cousin that took our 1 week pics posted a really sweet video of all the pictures she took of us. Its on her blog but if you would like, pop on over and check it out. She worked hard on them and is really wanting to get a business started soon. She would love to hear what you guys think so if you'd like leave her a comment as well. I know she would love that. Her blog is http://carolinerentzel.blogspot.com/
I do want to thank God for my beautiful family. For all the support, especially from my amazing mom who is here staying with us and being absolutely wonderful the entire time. I can only hope to be as good a mom as she is. I will try my entire life to be.
Thank you for my sweet husband who is the most wonderful man I've ever met and who even though he's back to work this week still wants to get up and help feed his son because he wants to spend the time with him. What a wonderful father he is.
Thank you for my sweet son who is perfect and healthy and beautiful. I'm so in love with him. Please God help us all to stay healthy and well this year ahead of us. We love you!
Monday, September 28, 2009
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17 comments:
Hey girl. I am sorry you are having sucha tough time. I pumped with Caleb until my milk decided to dry up. Pumping was very effective for us. He was on a definite 3 hour schedule, and we knew exactly how much he was getting. He would usually have all of his nursing complete within 30 minutes. He would eat for 30 minutes, generally fall back asleep for an hour, wake up for an hour. I would pump 20 minutes before his next feeding, and then I would feed him. If you still want to nurse maybe you can alternate nursing one feeding and then pumping for the next to make sure that he gets his tummy full. Maybe have a bottle pumped for the night time feeding to. I hope this advice helps. You are a great mommy!
Oh honey, I know it's hard. Really, that was what people failed to tell me. But the truth is that breastfeeding gets so much easier that you really do forget that it was hard at first. I think the first 2 months are just trial and error and then somehow someway you find that perfect fit for the both of you. Now I know you have received advice from many people...so here is my 2 cents as well.
Feed about 7 minutes on each side, this way you are even if you know what I mean. As he gets older he will get really fast and be done in that time flat. Then you can feed on one side and the other at the next feeding, but that is with time. To me 15 minutes on each side is too long and yes they would fall asleep by then. There are "feel good drugs", if you will, in your milk that put them in that happy sleepy state. I personally would let him sleep at night and not wake him, but during the day I would feed every 2-3 hours, I say this because I let Averee sleep as long as she wanted during the day and she was up WIDE awake during the night. Needless to say I was exhausted! :)It is all new right now and that's awesome that your mom is there, helps so much. I wouldn't have wanted to do it without my mom either. And I think everyone has the fear that they are not giving their baby enough, or that they are not getting enough milk. However, they are SO much more efficient than the pump. I mean they are able to get more, and faster than the pump does. I was worried just like you are, but my Miss Priss weighed in at 17 lbs at her 4 month visit and that was JUST breastmilk. Drink lots of water throughout the day to help your supply. I think I could go on all day about this since I BF for over a year and I was the girl who said ewww breastfeeding is weird and gross! :) ANy questions please ask...and kellymom.com has some good articles to read. Sorry for the essay! Haha, talk to you soon!
I meant about 7-10 min on each side ;)
I had the same eating issue with Chase. It was not fun, very tiring! It will get better. They also made us wake him up, which has unfortunately ruined his sleep schedule forever. ;)
Hi, I found you via Lindsay's blog. Your son is precious. I just thought I could leave my 2 cents and maybe it could help. I nursed both my daughters for a year, but it wasn't always easy. The first month of nursing my first daughter was terrible. Latch was fine like you, but I was in a constant state of worry. (That never goes away!) Worried she wasn't getting enough, worried she was getting too much, if I was doing it right, etc. What I have learned is that everyones milk flow is so different. So your doc asking you to nurse 15 minutes on each side is silly. I have a great friend who could nurse her kiddos in 10 minutes total (both sides!). I think its just more important that the baby gets a full feeding - not falling asleep after they seem somewhat satisfied. Sure a newborn you might have to strip him down (which I'm sure you have tried) or wipe a cool cloth on him to keep him eating if you don't feel like he has eaten enough. You just kind of have to go off the feel of it. If you feel like he is eating about the same each time. Your milk supply isn't totally regulated until closer to a month or so - hang in there. It totally gets easier. My goal was to breastfeed for 3 months and it just kept getting easier so I did it the full year. OH and BOTH my girls slept a 4 hour strech at night from day one!! My girls were also 8+lbs so I let them sleep. Hasn't your pedi ever heard never to wake a sleeping baby :) HA - I've heard every 3 hours max too, but maybe he will eat better if he were hungry and awake?
Good luck! Sorry to ramble on to someone I don't even know!!
I have not breastfed yet, but fresh off my breastfeeding class on Saturday, I can tell you that: I think you're supposed to let them finish one side before switching because of the nutrition in the hindmilk (it's more fatty) and most nutritious. And, the baby's stomach is only marble-sized right now and can't hold much! And one good sign is the baby has 3-4 poopy diapers per day and gains weight. I would keep trying to avoid using a bottle until the baby is 4 weeks old, or he will have nipple confusion. If your pediatrician isn't enough help, see if you can contact a lactation consultant from the hospital or la leche. My book says if he only takes one breast at the feeding to offer the other one next time. That's what I learned:) Hope that helps!
I am sorry that breastfeeding is a challenge right now but hopefully after you talk to the doctor you can figure out what will work for both you and Cooper. Hang in there - it will get better!
Hang in there! I nursed all three of mine for (mmostly) the first year. It takes a FULL six weeks to totally get into the swing of things. You are doing great. Don't worry about the schedule...just feed Cooper as often as he wants to eat, even if it's only been an hour. That's how you build up your supply, which is crucial to establish in the first six weeks. I'm sure your ped. is great, but from this post, it sounds like he's a man. Which means he's never nursed. Take what he says with a grain of salt. He hasn't been there and can't relate. Call your hospital's lactation dept. They are an AWESOME resource!!! Most importnatly, try to relax as much as you can. Cooper will pick up on any anxiety you have. You'll find it much easier if you can just relax and go with the flow. I know it's hard especially during such an emotional time but you'll make it! Praying for you...
You have gotten a lot of great advice already, so I don't want to say too much:) Here's my two cents:
1. As long as your baby is gaining weight, and has wet diapers he is getting enough.
2. Nurse for 8-10 minutes on each side, burping inbetween. My baby always starts to doze off around the 8 minute mark, so I take him off when I can tell my milk isn't flowing... this takes time to tell, but you'll get there. As soon as I take him off and burp him, he's wide awake and ready for the other side.
3. BF is hard in the beginning, and I wish they warned you about this more. But, if you can make it for the first couple of weeks you'll never want to stop. It gets so easy!
4. When you think you've consumed all of the water you possibly can, drink another bottle.
5. I found that eating a bowl of oatmeal every morning has increased my milk production.
6. Sometimes your baby won't eat well at a feeding, and he'll be hungry again an hour later... feed him, its okay, just as long as that doesn't become a habit.
7. In the beginning my baby slept a lot and didn't want to eat every 2-3 hours, don't worry, your milk will come in and he will get hungry. You'll wish you could go back to these days:)
8. Relax and enjoy it. It is by far the most exhausting time in your life, but it will get easier. You can do it!!!
I think most everyone has already said what I think is most important!
* I feed my babies 8 minutes on the first side and until they are done on the second. The fatty milk is what comes out last, but if you let him eat too long on the first side then he won't want as much on the second.
* I know your pediatrician told you different, but I never ever ever wake a sleeping baby at night. During the day, yes, especially in the evening to try and get them nice and tired for night-time, but they will wake up when they need to eat!
One other suggestion... if you don't think he is getting enough is to go to a lactation consultant. They weigh him before you feed, have you nurse him, and then weigh him again and they can see exactly how much he ate! That way you will know for sure.
I do appreciate a doctor's advice and I know that they are trained, but you have to trust your mommy instinct too!
Don't be discouraged, you are doing a great job!
Okay girl.... basically your situation was me with Brody.
He would only eat on one side and thenhe would be done and totally be out.... maybe you could try just letting him eat about 5-10 mins on one breast and then switch to the other for 5-10 mins.
Brody ate a lot.... I felt like all I could get done was breast feeding him.. but it did get better as he got older. I didn't mind when he was younger because I wanted to do anything for him and if he was hungry I was there but it did get tiring and I almost gave up a few times.
I would wake Brody trhoughout the day but I never woke him at night and as long as he was gainigng weight and had anough wet diapers I didn't worry to much..
I am sure you are doing a great job girl!!!
So happy to hear you're all doing well!
Believe me, I've gone through the saaaame thing with breastfeeding early on, no schedule is a thing a new mama has to get used to, I guess.... as much as it's so hard on us! Eating without a routine, wanting to play in the middle of the night and sleeping so hard that it's hard to wake them up for feedings, I had the same thing here! I decided right from the beginnig to give into whatever my little one wanted to do, if he wake up to feed, I was there to do it, once every 20 min or once every 2 hours, we've done it all; if he wanted to play at night, I would rock him on the exercise ball for hours; I kept thinking that he's a newborn only once and I have to let him be a newborn with all the good and bad parts of it... Going for walks was terrible, he would want to nurse only 20 min after leaving home, so I kept going from one park bench to another, feeding him all the time, it seemed. Newborn's belly size is so tiny though, they can't take a big load of food at once, I'm not sure why your doc told you to feed on both sides, I've not heard of a newborn eating that much in one sitting, they usually eat here and there whenever they want to (unless they're terrible eaters and then you have to make them eat, that's a different story than no scheduled feedings though). I don't even think formula would change things at this point, he probably wouldn't want to eat too much at once anyways. The awesome thing is, he eats and is interested in food and that's a major plus! And mama's milk would be awesome through the winter, to give him the immunity from mama, but you know what, you're totally right, you have to find your own ways and figure out what will work and you will! All I can say is that it totally gets better, at 8 weeks it's a very different world and feeding gets so much easier! Keep strong! You will get through it.
I takes time for a baby's tummy to get big enough to fit enough food to last 4 or more hours. If he feeds for 15 good mintutes I would do half of that on one breast and half on another. He will increase that when he is ready. And my first rule for caring for a baby . . never wake a sleeping baby! He will wake when he is hungry and will eat better when he does. The problem with following a doctors directions is that you could take your baby to another dr and they would tell you something different. It doesn't make one right or wrong, just different opinions. Which means mommy has her own intuition on how to care for her baby and you should follow it. And last, I personally know lots of babies that take about a month to start putting on weight. They're fine, just take longer than other. Good luck and enjoy your baby!
OKAY! I can speak a little uniquely to this situation! I breastfed twins (and still am nursing them) and they both survived on ONE BREAST! They were both fast nursers (never fed for more than 10-15 minutes ever) and both gained weight, had plenty of wet diapers, and thrived. Sooo, best advice is relax! I know it's hard when it's your first and you just want to make sure he's getting enough. If he's full after one breast, it means you're producing enough. Your body will regulate to his needs soon and he'll get into a routine.
breast fedding can be so complicated and frustrating. Just hang in there things will get better :) Going to check out the pictures now!
If you're nervous, go in for a weight check with your pedi. I didn't and wish I had b/c my two barely gained any weight the first month...I wasn't producing enough milk. So, when I thought I was feeding them, they were actually just sucking on empty boob. They're fine now, but you need peace of mind! Hang in there...it's rough waking them to feed, but it's for the best.
Breastfeeding is so hard in the beginning! I've had just about a million "I want to quit" thoughts run through my head in the last 4 months...I would definitely say that 3 weeks and on it gets so much easier. In fact I would much rather breastfeed then bottle feed because who wants to get up in the middle of the night and stumble all the way in to the kitchen and fix a bottle!? Anyway, hang in there. I never woke Lilli up to feed her, but our doc said that as long as she was gaining weight then we didn't need to. In the beginning I was just like you, freaking out when she didn't eat the right amount or fell asleep after only a few minutes. Just know that he is normal. This is exactly what Lilli did, they're newborns so they do things when they want to do things. I think when Lilli was around two weeks I had finally given up on the so many minutes per side and I started doing about 15 minutes on one side for each feeding, and now that she is 4 months she does about 10 minutes on one side. Personally I think it's easier to just do one side per feeding. Hang in there, it really gets so much easier and it is just so much more convenient!
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