Well we went to the dr. again last Thursday and my hcg levels were rising correctly, We can't thank God enough for that. We don't have any other appointments until Friday, They scheduled our first ultrasound on Friday and I'm excited and nervouse, I just want to see that everything is ok. That all of everything is what its supposed to be!
So I guess until Friday, any prayers are appreciated. :)
Monday, January 26, 2009
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
ITS POSITIVE!
Today I went in for my blood test. It came back positive. I feel truly blessed that God heard our prayers and is answering them. I am of course very nervous because we go back on Thursday to find out if the hcg levels are rising correctly. PLEASE LORD HELP THEM TO RISE CORRECTLY. We've had a miscarriage in the past and wasn't sure what the cause was so we of course are being very careful about our celebration of hearing the news today. However we are both ecstatic and grateful that this step is a positive step and we look for more good steps ahead.
I had asked my Dr.s office not to call me at work to reveal the test results. I knew that with all my hormones and everything that hearing it (if it might have been bad news) would have only made me break down at work, Not a place I would really choose to have a breakdown.
So my husband requested for them to call him on his cell phone. We agreed the night before that no matter what we wouldn't talk about it until I got home. So even if he knew the results he couldn't tell me.
I am walking out of work at 5:00 and hanging from my car door was a hat, a little snow beanie.
An OSU snow beanie. Funny because you see I'm not a fan of OSU, I'm a very big fan of OU as well as many other employees I work with. So I picked up the hat and said, what in the world? Who put this on my car, that's not very funny. I'm so not picking up on whats going on here yet.....
Finally it clicks, the hat was so small, its a babies hat (all this happened in only a minute or so). I start to well up with tears and out of the corner of my eye I see my husband running from the parking lot next to my work parking lot. He had come to my work to surprise me with the test results, I was completely taken by surprise. I honestly thought it would come out negative and I was shocked when this all happened.
Needless to say, We cried, we laughed it was great. Now we just have to pray our hearts out that God hears us praying for our sweet baby, for there health, for this to be a good pregnancy, for this to last 9 safe months and end in a beautiful healthy angel baby.
Thank you God, You blessed us with this news today and I truly am grateful for this gift. Please help us to make it real and live and in our hands.
I had asked my Dr.s office not to call me at work to reveal the test results. I knew that with all my hormones and everything that hearing it (if it might have been bad news) would have only made me break down at work, Not a place I would really choose to have a breakdown.
So my husband requested for them to call him on his cell phone. We agreed the night before that no matter what we wouldn't talk about it until I got home. So even if he knew the results he couldn't tell me.
I am walking out of work at 5:00 and hanging from my car door was a hat, a little snow beanie.
An OSU snow beanie. Funny because you see I'm not a fan of OSU, I'm a very big fan of OU as well as many other employees I work with. So I picked up the hat and said, what in the world? Who put this on my car, that's not very funny. I'm so not picking up on whats going on here yet.....
Finally it clicks, the hat was so small, its a babies hat (all this happened in only a minute or so). I start to well up with tears and out of the corner of my eye I see my husband running from the parking lot next to my work parking lot. He had come to my work to surprise me with the test results, I was completely taken by surprise. I honestly thought it would come out negative and I was shocked when this all happened.
Needless to say, We cried, we laughed it was great. Now we just have to pray our hearts out that God hears us praying for our sweet baby, for there health, for this to be a good pregnancy, for this to last 9 safe months and end in a beautiful healthy angel baby.
Thank you God, You blessed us with this news today and I truly am grateful for this gift. Please help us to make it real and live and in our hands.
Friday, January 16, 2009
Back from the final part of the IVF
We just got home from St. Louis. Hopefully for the very last time in a long long time!
We went there on Tuesday night, the six hour drive wasn't fun as usual but Julian and I played a little name that tune on our way and I read a book, drove, and then finally watched "how to loose a guy in ten days" I love that movie.
Anyways the transfer was scheduled for the next morning Wednesday. They were supposed to call us and let us know the exact time. By about 10:00 still no word from them. I was starting to get worried and finally my phone rang. Our coordinator says to me that basically they aren't doing the transfer on day 5 because the embryos weren't growing quite right. They hadn't made it to blastocyste's yet. ALL 12 OF THEM! I almost had a heart attach. She tells me that she will call the next morning to let us know how they are then and we will see what we will do then.
I hung up the phone start having a panic attack and my husband wants more answers like "all 12 of the embryos are slow?" "what went wrong since they all looked great on day 3" and "is this common". things like that. so he calls them back and talks to the embryologist who tells him that they just weren't growing fast enough and they wanted to wait one more day to see if they reached the stage they needed to be at and that it could go either way.
WELL SHIT! There you go, my nerves were shot for the rest of the day. Ya go on and enjoy your day while we possibly may have to leave after all we went through without even getting to try.
We spent the day trying to keep ourselves busy and we ended up having a really nice night, we saw a movie had dinner at a great restaurant and of course I prayed all day long throughout the day. The next morning after sleepless hotel night number 2, we got a call and they said that YES! they were doing the transfer that day so I cried with happiness and we left to do the transfer. Dr. A tells us when we get there that they were only able to get 1 out of all of them to make it to the blastocyst stage. He says he has no idea what went wrong with the other 11? I know I'm curious because they all looked great on day 3. But anyways 1 is fine, I'm not selfish even if it does take our chances down one can still be our precious little baby! So we were thrilled but my only fear is besides the fact they only put in 1 its a 2. They don't do A, B, or C on the quality they do 1, 2, 3 with 1 being the best. Ours wasn't a 1 it was a 2. That scares me to death. Does that mean it might miscarry easier? I'm not positive on the meaning but I will read up on it. Either way we will be praying for a positive beta test on Tuesday next week and we will be praying for a healthy pregnancy so any prayers are very appreciated at this time.
Until them I did the whole 24 hours of bed rest I even took an extra day to lay around and be extra safe and now I'm going to unwind in my house and enjoy my weekend! Ah life! Its crazy sometimes but amazing as well. I hope I get to experience a miracle here~
We went there on Tuesday night, the six hour drive wasn't fun as usual but Julian and I played a little name that tune on our way and I read a book, drove, and then finally watched "how to loose a guy in ten days" I love that movie.
Anyways the transfer was scheduled for the next morning Wednesday. They were supposed to call us and let us know the exact time. By about 10:00 still no word from them. I was starting to get worried and finally my phone rang. Our coordinator says to me that basically they aren't doing the transfer on day 5 because the embryos weren't growing quite right. They hadn't made it to blastocyste's yet. ALL 12 OF THEM! I almost had a heart attach. She tells me that she will call the next morning to let us know how they are then and we will see what we will do then.
I hung up the phone start having a panic attack and my husband wants more answers like "all 12 of the embryos are slow?" "what went wrong since they all looked great on day 3" and "is this common". things like that. so he calls them back and talks to the embryologist who tells him that they just weren't growing fast enough and they wanted to wait one more day to see if they reached the stage they needed to be at and that it could go either way.
WELL SHIT! There you go, my nerves were shot for the rest of the day. Ya go on and enjoy your day while we possibly may have to leave after all we went through without even getting to try.
We spent the day trying to keep ourselves busy and we ended up having a really nice night, we saw a movie had dinner at a great restaurant and of course I prayed all day long throughout the day. The next morning after sleepless hotel night number 2, we got a call and they said that YES! they were doing the transfer that day so I cried with happiness and we left to do the transfer. Dr. A tells us when we get there that they were only able to get 1 out of all of them to make it to the blastocyst stage. He says he has no idea what went wrong with the other 11? I know I'm curious because they all looked great on day 3. But anyways 1 is fine, I'm not selfish even if it does take our chances down one can still be our precious little baby! So we were thrilled but my only fear is besides the fact they only put in 1 its a 2. They don't do A, B, or C on the quality they do 1, 2, 3 with 1 being the best. Ours wasn't a 1 it was a 2. That scares me to death. Does that mean it might miscarry easier? I'm not positive on the meaning but I will read up on it. Either way we will be praying for a positive beta test on Tuesday next week and we will be praying for a healthy pregnancy so any prayers are very appreciated at this time.
Until them I did the whole 24 hours of bed rest I even took an extra day to lay around and be extra safe and now I'm going to unwind in my house and enjoy my weekend! Ah life! Its crazy sometimes but amazing as well. I hope I get to experience a miracle here~
Sunday, January 11, 2009
OUCH
OK so nobody told me the egg retrieval would feel that way. Maybe I'm just a big whiner but it hurts.
We had the retrieval on Friday morning. The 6 hour car drive home was a blur to me as I was still highly medicated from the surgery. Once I finally pulled myself up and walked into a bathroom to try to go I started feeling nauseous. I never got sick but I felt uneasy the rest of the drive home. I slept all day Friday and all day Yesterday. Today I am finally getting myself together to try to go to church. Maybe I'll even treat myself to see a movie with my bf I can't wait to see Bride wars.
Another thing I was unaware of was the hellish progesterone shots that they gave me to take starting Friday night. The shot that goes in your upper ass muscle and has a huge needle and takes forever for the oils to dispense into your skin. I was exhausted, still drugged, and nauseous. Laying on the couch as my husband approached me and mentioned that we had to do this shot. As soon as I saw the needle I burst into tears. I swear at one point I yelled at him "Please don't do that to me, I've been through enough today". Poor J. He was feeling terrible that he had to give that monster shot to me as it was, I totally made it worse.
We finally did the shot, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. But still it wasn't fun.
I'm not such a basket case today but I'm still a little sore from all the poking and prodding. My stomach feels really tender. All of this is worth it though so we can have our little angels. I'm ready for them to implant them and just wait and hope and pray that we can become parents.
I just keep telling myself that, this is all worth it. And I know it is!
We had the retrieval on Friday morning. The 6 hour car drive home was a blur to me as I was still highly medicated from the surgery. Once I finally pulled myself up and walked into a bathroom to try to go I started feeling nauseous. I never got sick but I felt uneasy the rest of the drive home. I slept all day Friday and all day Yesterday. Today I am finally getting myself together to try to go to church. Maybe I'll even treat myself to see a movie with my bf I can't wait to see Bride wars.
Another thing I was unaware of was the hellish progesterone shots that they gave me to take starting Friday night. The shot that goes in your upper ass muscle and has a huge needle and takes forever for the oils to dispense into your skin. I was exhausted, still drugged, and nauseous. Laying on the couch as my husband approached me and mentioned that we had to do this shot. As soon as I saw the needle I burst into tears. I swear at one point I yelled at him "Please don't do that to me, I've been through enough today". Poor J. He was feeling terrible that he had to give that monster shot to me as it was, I totally made it worse.
We finally did the shot, and it wasn't as bad as I thought. But still it wasn't fun.
I'm not such a basket case today but I'm still a little sore from all the poking and prodding. My stomach feels really tender. All of this is worth it though so we can have our little angels. I'm ready for them to implant them and just wait and hope and pray that we can become parents.
I just keep telling myself that, this is all worth it. And I know it is!
Monday, January 5, 2009
Its time to go!
I went to the dr. this morning and they told me its time to leave to go have the ivf. I'm so excited! So I'm leaving work at 2:00 today to go pack my bags get my hubby and hit the road. We have our first appt with the clinic tomorrow morning at 8:30.
My ovaries are hurting like crazy, and I'm pretty sure I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night every night this past week (I'm not sure if thats a mental thing or the uncomfortable feeling in my tummy).
Either way we are heading out tonight. I appreciate any prayers. It can only help!
My ovaries are hurting like crazy, and I'm pretty sure I haven't slept more than 4 hours a night every night this past week (I'm not sure if thats a mental thing or the uncomfortable feeling in my tummy).
Either way we are heading out tonight. I appreciate any prayers. It can only help!
Thursday, January 1, 2009
Horrible shots!
We started the shots of bravelle on Monday this week. I for some silly reason thought this shot would be just like any other shot I've taken. The million different shots I did through all the cycles of iui's we did after trying for a year and a half. But no this shot was way different. Its not what I usually am on so it was new altogether. First of all the needle is allot thicker so trying to get it go into my belly wasn't fun. 2nd my poor husband wasn't really thinking about the fact that this was ALLOT more liquid in this shot than the usual 75-150 units we are used to. He always helps me do my shots. It helps him to feel like he's really a part of it all and its nice having him there to push those meds in. So back to Monday night. He starts to push the meds in and OH MY SWEET GOOD LORD IT HURT! I started crying, there was no warning for the tears. It felt like someone stuck a hot fiery knife in my stomach from where we injected the meds shooting all the way up to my belly button. It just took me by surprise, I did not like it. To make matters worse we had to do a second of those shots right after that one on the other side. Meanwhile my stomach has a pool of medicine sitting under the skin, red and itchy and stinging. We made sure to inject the second shot ALLOT slower. But still it really hurt.
We've done them all week now and its getting easier but I was in shock by the reaction from that shot. I don't care how much it hurts, I just want it to work. But still it hurt.
Also I should mention that I went to see my in town dr. (who I love to death) and they counted 9 follies on one side and 14 on the other. It sounds like its not much but they are trying a new thing on me. They are trying not to get to many eggs since my problem is ovulation and not something further they feel like they can have more than enough to fertilize and freeze some if we only get 20-30 instead of 50 or more. So I feel like that dr's appt was a good one.
We go back on January 5th to see how big they are. Grow follies.
We had a great new years eve last night celebrating with our close friends. I attached a new 2009 picture one with my husband and the other with my best friend.
Happy new years everyone.
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